Feel Me, Lonely Son
by indecisive-ays
Summary: A look at Rocket's mind and Tia's actions. Season 1, right after Episode 16. T for some language. Inspired by two songs and a friend. One-Shot.


**Disclaimer: Alphanim owns Galactik Football. "If It Kills Me" belongs to Jason Mraz, "Wish For Something More" is Amy McDonald's. I have nothing. Boo.**

A bit clarification: "..." represent speech. '...' is what Rocket's thinking in his head. and _italics _are Rocket's subconscious... wait that makes it even more messy now; but the _italics _is the other voice in his head. I like to think of it as a little Sinedd with devil wings and horns.

* * *

**Feel Me, Lonely Son**

Rocket was going over his notes; first to have arrived at the training room as had become the usual over the last months. He still couldn't believe they had come so far, he couldn't believe he was actually doing this for the final sixteen matches. It was all kind of bizarre, especially thinking it was thanks to a few chance moments that he had had the opportunity to be here –if they hadn't won that match against the Red Tigers, the others would probably be working to get ready for the next Cup at the Aarch Academy, but he would be back at the flower shop with no chance of getting into the sport ever again. So merely the fact that he was on Genesis Stadium was some sort of a miracle, but that didn't mean he wanted it to end there; he knew he wanted to go further and he knew he wanted more. He knew he was capable of it.

"Good morning, Rocket!"

Consumed in his thoughts, he hadn't realized his white-haired teammate had joined him (which was something since that door sliding should have alerted him). The brighter than usual smile on the girl's face was infectious, and he fondly thought he was capable of achieving this shared dream thanks to great teammates such as her as he smiled in return:

"Good morning, Tia. Are you ready for practice?"

"Totally," Tia looked very energetic as she strode over to him and sat facing him, pulling a leg up to retie her shoelace, "Are those your notes on Wambas?"

She leaned in closer to take a look and Rocket closed his eyes and held his breath to keep himself in control and not actually give in and stare at her face or smell her hair or do anything equally crazy which would set his hormones overdrive as had been happening more and more frequently around her lately.

It didn't take much long for him to realize that sitting there without a response would be suspicious, and so he mentally gave himself a backrub and faced her bravely:

"They are on the recent data from their matches," she took some of them and her eyes skimmed through the page with interest as he explained, "Aarch made us replay our friendly match against them yesterday; but they have developed a lot since then too, so that training was not entirely realistic."

"Yeah, I noticed," Tia said, squinting over a side note on the captain, Woo-wam-boo's technique, "Especially D'Jok and Micro-Ice were overconfident with those little tricks and everything –is that what D'Jok was arguing about with Aarch when we came in? He didn't seem very impressed. But I've to say: I loved that swing Ahito pulled, it was very cool."

"He was quite angry about it," Rocket frowned, "How do you know about the tricks and stuff, though?"

"Oh, he sent the recording of it over for us to go over it last night," Tia gave his notes back and fixed him with those impressive eyes of hers as panic rose in Rocket, "He also put a note on how that video was full of other things we _shouldn't _be doing, along with missing trainings; we watched it after I got back."

'Fuck.'

Okay, maybe that was not such a refined way to put the matter but that was the first thing that had come to his mind. So she had seen it. He had initially hoped, based on the fact that Micro-Ice had missed the chance to tease him about it thanks to D'Jok's outburst, that this action of his could be forgotten, buried in the depths of that holo-trainer.

Thran had proven him wrong the previous day. He had casually thrown a glance at him and said how thoughtful of him it was to buy Tia flowers to cheer her up, when the two of them had found him in a game shop after stopping by at the florist. She had beamed and Rocket had blinked as a response and Thran had given him a thumbs up when Tia had turned at another game with a thoughtful look on her face:

"Keep up the chivalry, mate, it's earning you points!"

"What are you talking about?"

"That little number you did at the training," Thran had grinned, "It was so romantic, I'm sure she would have melted into your arms if it really had been her."

Rocket was thankful for his dark skin hiding the fact that his cheeks were burning and he had resolved to the only way he knew would shut the cheerful defender up on the matter: he had glared at him and Thran had flashed another grin but turned back to checking the game he wanted to purchase.

Nevertheless he had never considered Tia could actually see it. He did not regret doing it, he would have done it again and he didn't actually think he could control himself when it came to Tia being hurt –he just knew he did _not _enjoy seeing that, and whenever Tia had been hurt (on the field she had been hurt a lot, she was an easy target and she had been their most dangerous weapon at the beginning) all he could see was red and he wanted to avenge her, kick some stuff (the players that are at fault, preferably, but hey balls were nice too and it actually earned them scores) and pull her to his chest and protect her and never let anything like that happen to her again. So it was actually a miracle he hadn't been doing all that and well, whatever he did could be forgiven in the face of his self control, as far as he was concerned.

But to go as far as to save her clone? An artificial being that wouldn't even feel the pain –just mimic the action? Why the _hell_ had he gone and felt inclined to interfere? Was that control slipping? Was he a few breaths away from declaring his feelings to her or to the entire galaxy? And what exactly were those feelings anyway, all those stupid protective stuff and goofy grins that broke onto his face whenever he saw her and that weird twist around his stomach and the pang at his heart when she smiled at him?

_Idiot._

'Well, if you know better just go ahead tell me!' he hissed at that other voice in his head, the one that was a know-it-all smug bastard. Of course, he was aware of the bodily reactions Tia was causing in him ('I'm not _that _thick, thank you!') but whether it was mere teenage affection or something more he wasn't sure. He knew what he wanted (_Oh, yeah, you do!_), he knew what his instinct was telling him to do (_Grab her and kiss her breathless? Like, right now?_); he just had a damn good conscience and obviously epic self control that stopped him (_Read: the guy is plain boring_).

They were teammates, working and training hard to achieve a common dream that he could not jeopardize. And if he actually acted upon that instinct, he was sure to jeopardize it, one way or another. She was also his first real friend, and he wasn't ready to lose that bonding love between them. He certainly wanted to be closer than that, but he didn't know what was there and he wasn't sure what he wanted her to do in return; he wasn't sure what kind of a reaction from her would be a good one. The one thing he knew was, as was evident from his actions the previous day, his self-protective instinct to keep this to himself was somehow slipping in another direction.

"Those flowers bloomed this morning as you said they would," she said breaking his inner turmoil, "They really do have the prettiest green colour I've seen."

"I've seen a prettier one," he said, without a beat, his gaze fixed on her eyes.

She looked taken aback for a split second before a smile broke into her features and he could swear her normally pale skin was coloured a bit around her cheeks as she bit her lip and looked up at him from under her eyelashes. He was seconds away from giving in to temptation.

'Feel me.'

His eyes widened as he realized exactly he wanted her to do –what all this saving her from harm was, what buying her flowers when she was feeling down had been for, what asking her to go out together twice in a day (even in a friendly manner) implied. He could not tell her what this was, especially not when he was not sure, especially not when he was uncertain what it'd do to their friendship; but without realizing this had come to a point where he couldn't hold it in anymore. He wanted –needed- her to feel it –_feel him_.

Rocket didn't know why but it was a terrifying realization. He didn't know what bothered him more: the fact that he didn't have the courage (or recklessness) to act upon his feelings, or how his subconscious had been plotting against him?

_You're very welcome, dear._

"I..." he didn't know what to say, "I'm glad you liked them," he finished lamely, busying himself with arranging his notes. This whole coming to realizations during conversations business was no fun at all; he didn't remember his composure slipping so much ever before.

_...and there goes another chance to tell her, great._

"Oh, I love them," Tia said with an understanding smile. She stood up and walked towards Mei as the rest of the team crowded in. "By the way," she looked at him over her shoulder and the smile was nothing but understanding now, "Thanks for that save."

What else could he do but blink?

Thran was suddenly in his view with a wide grin on his face, followed closely by a devilish looking Micro-Ice. Rocket rolled his eyes and sighed as he went to explain them what he had prepared.

* * *

Tia collapsed onto her bed face first after the overly tiresome day. She rolled around as Mei skidded into bathroom and checked her watch. Well, she didn't even need to, it was dark outside; the lady at the flower shop had probably already gone home and she didn't feel like intruding her house again. She had to wait until she could get out at a reasonable time to see her; also she needed to sort this out and prepare what exactly she was going to say to her.

The fact that she and Rocket hadn't suspected a thing despite the striking resemblance when they faced each other the previous day had been bugging her; there was a high chance that this was not who she was looking for. She had to give it a try but she was feeling a bit uneasy about it now; the guy at the florist knew her and Rocket were football players, so quite possibly that lady also knew. The entire galaxy also was aware that Rocket was Aarch's nephew, so it was reasonable to assume that his mother must already have seen him and figured out it was her son. That realization was putting a bit strain on her plan of action, she had always thought she'd be talking to a woman who had no idea where her son was; but a woman who knew and hadn't felt like reaching out to her son who believed she was dead was a whole other issue. She didn't think she liked that second woman at all; whatever redeeming qualities she had attributed to her despite her leaving her son when he was baby seemed like mere naive hopes now.

Her eyes landed on the flowers Rocket had bought for her; they were back to being buds again now that it was dark, all bent at their pedicels, and facing away from each other, looking humble and heartbroken. It was sad thinking how they had bloomed in the morning, standing tall and proud and cuddled together.

She stood up with a newfound determination to not to give up on this despite anything. If there ever was the smallest chance for their family and if she hadn't done her best, she would never forgive herself.

And then maybe, in some selfish part of her heart, she wished when Rocket was happy and not just that lonely son anymore, there could be something more than those lingering glances and little clues between them.

* * *

**So a few things about this one. Firstly, everyone should watch the performance of "If It Kills Me" by Jason and Jeanine from So You Think You Can Dance, it's beautiful. Here are the lyrics to the part they perform:**

_If I should be so bold, I'd ask you to hold my heart in your hand_  
_Tell you from the start how I've longed to be your man_  
_But I never said a word I guess I'm gonna miss my chance again_

_Well, all I really want to do is love you_  
_A kind much closer than friends use_  
_But I still can't say it after all we've been through_

_And all I really want from you is to feel me_  
_As the feeling inside keeps building_  
_And I will find a way to you if it kills me, if it kills me_  
_I think it might kill me_

_And all I really want from you is to feel me_  
_It's a feeling inside that keeps building_  
_And I will find a way to you if it kills me, if it kills me_  
_It might kill me_

**This fic is first and foremost inspired by that dance; it's about the girl's dress reminding me of Tia's eyes, also the tanned guy.**

**And then it is inspired by a friend of mine; he has sadly passed away far too soon and one of the last times we had actually sat down to talk with him we had talked about Galactik Football (we liked talking about shows, but no, ****we were not so shallow as to only talk about shows, he is one of my best friends). The first season had just aired then and I told him I liked Rocket and Tia a lot and he said he found it funny how Rocket was always secretly hitting on her. And I was like, "Are you nuts? Tia was the one hitting on him!" and he rolled his eyes, and told me I couldn't see it because I was a girl, obviously Rocket was not a full on Casanova but he was flirtatious and he dropped a lot of clues, from the very first time they met. I think his words affect my view of Rocket a lot and maybe the fact that he liked it too has something to do with me being in the GF-fandom. **

**And while I was writing this the other day, Amy McDonald started singing about how she wished she "was the one, you lonely, lonely son" (this part is also listed as "your one and only sun" in some websites) and so I decided to include a part where Tia reflected on her actions. And since both songs were about friends who secretly love each other, I thought hey why not, they can be complementary pieces.**

**And so there. Sorry for the long-ass comment but it was kind of personal, so I thought I'd put it off my chest. Most of you probably won't read all that but hey, I can say that you can expect more updates these few days. **

**That's all!**


End file.
